pregnancy jokes


Back to humor.


miketodd    (2011-09-23)
pregnancy jokes

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.



(more options below)

sunilsamuel    (2011-09-27 18:57:58)
pregnancy jokes

A Husband made a call to the Hospital to know about his pregnant Wife. But accidentally the call went to a Cricket stadium. He asked, "What is the condition?" He fainted after hearing the reply, which said, "7 are already out...
3 more to get after Lunch...and...two were Ducks..."

__________

Gilet pare balles


sunilsamuel    (2011-10-04 17:01:59)
13 years ago

A woman goes to a sperm bank  for artificial insemination. 
The doctor takes off his clothes and explains, "We're all out
of the bottled stuff, I'm going to have to give you draft."

__________

Gilet pare balles


sunilsamuel    (2011-10-17 21:05:38)
13 years ago

On the Valentine's Day before the birth of our first child
I brought a flowering plant home to my pregnant wife.
  "They're mums," I told her, pleased with my pun.
  Since it was already a week past her due date, my wife quipped,
"You should have gotten impatients."

__________

Gilet pare balles


davis241    (2011-11-17 06:57:57)
13 years ago

Why Studying Is Better Than Sex
10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."

4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.

3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.

1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

__________

Family Attorney


pwhjenny    (2012-10-31 02:51:34)
12 years ago

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.


santiago    (2013-06-07 14:53:25)
pregnancy jokes

An Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a while the Scotsman says to the Englishman, "If I was to sneak over to your house and shag your wife while you were off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

The Englishman crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.

Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even."

__________

Cheap Rack Cards Printing


See also


ficgs
More websites

You must register to see these links, as this is a collaborative page, then you may change the order of the links by clicking the icons before the titles.



admin
Other websites

The following links might be less relevant, please change their ranks if you find them useful.


 Hilarious * , Funny * , Cool Pregnancy Joke
lotsofjokes

 Pregnancy *
breastfeeding > lighter side/lighter side prego jokes

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded,...
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his...

 So Cute! Pregnant Beyonce * About Bump, Baby-to-Be at Video Shoot - UsMagazine.com
usmagazine > celebrity body/news/beyonce vid 20112911

How Kourtney Kardashian Celebrated Mason Disick's 2nd...
Angelina Jolie Sizzles in Black Lace Gown at Producers...

 Pregnant * | You know you are Pregnant when | * on Youknowster.com
youknowster > jokes/view/585 you know you are pregnant when

Click to email or IM this page or share it on Facebook, Digg, Google,...

 Pregnancy *
3d cad steelwork

The page you are looking for might have been removed, had its name...

 Humor Quotes and Funny * About Pregnant Women - Pregnancy Quotes and *
prettydarkhorse.hubpages > hub/Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women

Pregnancy: The Bradley Method of Giving Birth : Hubby, Where Are...
Ans -- ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are -- By...
Ans --- The reaction of new father’s when he sees new mother’s...

 Laughing Through the Pain: Pregnancy and Labor & Delivery * - The Laughing Stork
thelaughingstork > blog/2009/04/15

Oh yes! It's another OBBWA (Official Baby Bump Watch Alert): Sienna...
Seraphina helps mom Jennifer Garner satisfy her late-state-pregnancy...
Sandra Bullock and two-year-old Louis share a smile -- and a love for...

  * ...? - Yahoo! Answers
answers.yahoo > question/index?qid=20080214082237AAhWw6c

you got most thumbs up and made me laugh the hardest! you win 10...
My uterus feels hard when I lie on my stomach at 7...

 Faye Wong not pregnant, * about having 'seal-like' figure - Channel NewsAsia
channelnewsasia > stories/entertainment/view/1160115/1/

Frankie Gao's wife exposes his lie, says marriage ended last...
Celebs take sides as Donnie Yen, Vincent Chiu feud...
De Niro white First Lady joke disowned by Obama...

 Pregnancy and Childbirth *
lifepassages > jokes

 Teen * Quotes
searchquotes > search/Teen

Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to...
The most beautiful girls are the ones that have more to offer than...

  * and humour forum - Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting Club - Bounty
my.bounty > forums/Subject/5/1/1/Jokes humour.htm

 8 Months Pregnant Joke
ebaumsworld > jokes/read/80550073

 Unplanned Pregnancy, A Mother's Song
motherhelp

Australian Artist Lina...
Iowa Family Rights...
Iowa Adoption Support Group -...

 Teen Mom 2 Jenelle Evans * : I'm Expecting
hollywoodlife > 2011/12/13/jenelle evans teen mom 2

Emma Roberts Shows Off Bikini Body at Coachella Music Festival...
Apple in settlement talks with Proview over iPad trademark...
Kim Kardashian Stop Rushing Into Love With Kanye West, For Fame...

 April Fools *
pregnancy.about > b/2011/04/01/april fools

 UCB Parents * & Quotes: Q&A for the Pregnant Couple
parents.berkeley > jokes/pregnant

  * and Funnies | Facebook
facebook > note.php?note id=63747177173



Response  
 

Guest name   (option)     Register
Please sum : 4099 + eight  




Trackbacks : If you talked about this article in your blog or website, you may instantly get a backlink 
There's no trackback at the moment.